natinio (natinio) wrote,
natinio
natinio

Fanfic: Chad Michael Murray vs Slash

Title: Chad Michael Murray vs Slash
Author: Nati
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: some swearing, thoughts about slash, FANGIRLS
Beta: Non, so it looks like crap.
Note: Birthday gift for andrea_deer It's all her foult. i don't even like Murray.

 

The bar was crowded – as always when Steve rocked on scene – but they were still missing one person.

-         Told ya’ he won’t show up. – Chris drawled eying Jared. – He’s too much of a pansy to admit he lost the bet about that chick. You will never get that free beer.

-         I’m never wrong – Chad Michael Murray appeared magically behind their back, smug expression in place – And a free beer is like a spoon – it doesn’t exist. I will make sure you pay for it later – he winked at Jared slamming a beer in front of him.

-         Oh? – Jared arched his brows smiling wide – And exactly how will you make me pay for it?

-         I have here all the toys I need: camera, voice recorder, Sandy’s number…

-         Can I take him down? – Chris moaned. He really would be happy if the blonde wouldn’t come. He didn’t trust him. Especially when he had all the equipment to embarrass blackmail or just piss off someone.

His question didn’t stop Murray – as if anything could…

He continued happily:

-         … and your fans e-mails. They would be quite happy to know a few things about you and Jenny here – he pointed a finger at them. Jensen took his hand off Jared’s leg blushing

-         You wouldn’t dare – he growled.

-         It’s for me to know and for you to find out. – He shrugged. – They suspecting it anyway. Man, did you see the amount of shit fans write about you two?

-         YES – Jensen and Jared answered in unison trying to end this conversation.

-         And hey, Kane! There is slash about you and Steve too! So, if the fans were right about our J2 here… Do you want to tell us something, Kane?

Chris face was red. Even if there was some embarrassment at first it quickly vanished under the wave of anger. He stood up.

-         You…!

-         Sit down, Christian. – Steve pushed him back on his chair not too gently. – Well, they write those kind of stories about all the hot men in the fandom. – The smile he showed Chad was slightly evil. – It’s interesting they don’t write it about YOU.

 

A week later Chad still thought about that. He should be glad – virginity of his internet self was an important thing and all. But Chad was always the best, right? So he should rock the fandom even if he was only a friend of one of the leads. He was a fucking Chad Michael Murray!

He started research.

 

LJ was pretty much frightening thing. There were fans of everything – like UFO, unicorns, pink color, teenage girls (he signed to that community) or say, cows. He shuddered.

All the signs showed that when fangirls say “OMG, he’s so HOT!” it really means “I want him to do bad bad things with that other hot guy”. At last, Chad thought they were BAD things. Still, even the possibility that it could mean he wasn’t considered hot – well, they must be blind to not see his awesomeness but… - was a disturbing thing.

It appeared he didn’t have the choice but to go for heavy weapons.

Like…

Infiltration.

 

“Hi! I’m Lindi! I think Chad Michael Murray is so HOT! Why do you think there is so little slash fanfiction about him?”

 

He really hoped his friends won’t find out he signed to LJ as a teenage girl.

 

After hours of posting, commenting, reading and researching – in short: honestly doing all the work for like first time in his life – he had some ANSWERS. Or, at last, some twisted ideas.

 

One of the suggestions was it’s because he and Jared are like brothers so they shouldn’t end in bed.  Right, said the girl slashing Sam and Dean like mad if her enormous collection of fanfics was any indication. Besides, the few slash stories about him that actually existed had Jared in them.

…or rather in him.

 

Some post said he’s just a minor character in fandom so writers don’t bother with him. Right, so, judging from amount of porn, Rosenbaum and Welling were just behind the actors playing the Winchesters. And he was quite popular actually – just not in this fucking romancing shit. Somehow, the role of Jared’s friend suited him better than being his fuck-buddy.

 

He dismissed all the post indicating he’s bad looking, stupid or just boring as an error made by lost souls that couldn’t recognize his awesomeness. Poor things. The path of Chadness will be closed for them forever.

 

Fortunately there were the ones that thought – quite rightfully – he’s a GOD. They didn’t write stories about him because they feared his wrath. Well, yeah, they should. He really wanted to kick asses of some authors – especially the ones that thought he was the girl in the relationship.

 

Some crazy girl suggested even it’s because there wasn’t enough information about him going around. Seriously, press loved him! And he loved them… especially that one paparazzi chick... ok, not going there. Well, let’s just say he didn’t have anything to hide. And yes, he didn’t like the law you couldn’t get naked anywhere you want.

 

It amused him to no end (after he went through the pissed, freaked and even more pissed stage) the fans couldn’t make up their mind if he was too gay or to straight to write about him. He didn’t give them any reason to think he’s gay. What? The hair? Every man should take care of it! And a good sense of style didn’t make him homo!

 

So, what more the fans needed from him? He was bright, handsome, popular, interesting, had money – he kicked ass at every step. So what did…

Oh, right.

He knew the answer.

It was so simple!

 

-         So, you see Jared – it’s like that: if you would take a 1 to 10 scale to describe you, you would get about 5 points. Oh, come on, you know that Sasquatch. – Chad rolled his eyes at Jared’s hurt puppy eyes –BUT, because you are gay – or at last fans know you and Jensen are doing show for them – you get extra points for that. That’s why you are so popular and why they write those stories about you two.

-         Yeah, yeah – so how it works for you?

-         It’s quite obvious – Chad smirked completely sure of his theory – they can’t write slash about me because I get 10 from a start.

And even porn can’t make me better.


Tags: chad michael murray, chris kane, fandom, fanfiction, fangirls, fans, jared, jensen, rps, slash, steve carlson, supernatural
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